How I Met You (sort of)

It’s no secret that I am a Facebook junkie. I do spend some time there promoting Beagle Books and keeping up with community events. But sometimes, I’m just plain goofing off. I was delighted last Friday to log on to Facebook and see the following post from my friend, Angela:
Angela Scaletta wants you to comment on this status about how you met me. But I want you to lie. That's right. Just make stuff up. After you comment, copy to your status so I can do the same. Bonus points for creativity!
Right away, my wheels started spinning – what’s the most outlandish thing I can come up with??? Throughout the day, I read (and laughed) my way through my friends tales of how we all met. We were being silly, goofing off for sure, but we were also engaging in one of my favorite things in life: storytelling.
Here’s some of the stories I told:
For Angela (who got me started on this): It still makes me tear up when I think about that day I was mountain climbing, slipped, and you broke my 1500 foot fall. What a gem you are. Anyone else would have stepped to the side and pretended not to notice me, but not you. I feel guilty however that you spent the rest of your honeymoon in the hospital. I owe you, really.
Another of Angela’s friends, Amy B, was typing at the same time I was, but she hit enter a moment after I did. Her story is better than mine and I’ve never been trumped so fast. Here’s Amy B’s: It was circus camp. I fell off the tightrope and landed on the lion, whose mouth you had just stuck your head into. When I say that nobody would ever know that your left ear is a prosthetic, it's not the guilt talking. I really mean it.
For a friend who has a daughter the same age as mine: I was canoeing on a river one day and heard this incredibly beautiful yodeling up around the bend. Of course, when I came around the bend (we all do at some point), there you were with your Nude Harmonica & Yodeling club, practicing for a performance at the Annual Talent Contest. I stopped to chat and well...we've been friends every since.
For an artist friend: We both tried out for the lead role in Madame Bovary. We sang so bad we were bounced out the back door into an alley. That wouldn't have been so bad except for the mentally-impaired gentleman who had gone off his meds got the urge to knife us. Even though you were wounded (both emotionally and physically), you fought him off, subdued him, then dragged him to the hospital and using his knife, pinned him to the wall of the ER lobby. It was so incredible, I couldn't resist forming a friendship with you :)
For a co-worker of my husband’s: Good grief, how many years has it been now since that comet hit the ice in front of me at the fishing derby, I fell in the hole it created, and you fished me out of the icy waters?? Everyone else kept their head down, eyes on their holes, with visions of new pick-up trucks on their minds, but not you. You just handed your pole to [your daughter] Sam and saved my life. Thanks ;)
For a former babysitter (all grown up now!): I was down in the Amazon rain forest, collecting bugs. I was knocked unconscious when something hit me in the head. Turns out it was your water bottle - you dropped it from the rope bridge you were crossing above me. We've been friends ever since! :)
For a friend in the medical field: We were both on that chain gang up in Baudette. I wanted to make a break for it and swim to Canada, but you pointed out that the last guy in our gang would probably drown because he couldn't swim. Thank goodness you saved me from murder! Now I'll only be in prison for 20 years, rather than life, whew!
I’ve saved the best for last. This tall tale was written by my friend Angela Scaletta: I was touring the west coast with my flea circus, you kept playing the same venues the next night with your flock of plate-spinning poodles. It took you years to figure out the source of the infestation that ended your act (hard to keep those plates spinning when you have to scratch all. the. time.) but by that time you already owed me over a quarter-million dollars from your Jello mold competition betting losses.
What stories do YOU have??